BE A WINNER--ACTION STEPS

 Let me close this chapter with the eight action steps discussed earlier:

1. Be a good finder.

2. Make a habit of doing it now. 

3. Develop an attitude of gratitude. 

4. Get into a continuous education program. 

5. Build positive self-esteem.

6. Stay away from negative influences. 

7. Learn to like the things that need to be done. 8. Start your day with a positive.

WINNERS VERSUS LOSERS

The Winner is always part of the answer;

 The Loser is always part of the problem.

 The Winner always has a program;

 The Loser always has an excuse.

 The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";

 The Loser says, "That is not my job."

 The Winner sees an answer for every problem;

 The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it is possible";
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it is too difficult."

 When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong";

 When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."

A Winner makes commitments;

 A Loser makes promises.

Winners have dreams;

 Losers have schemes.

Winners say, "I must do something";

 Losers say, "Something must be done."

 Winners are a part of the team;

 Losers are apart from the team.

 Winners see the gain;

 Losers see the pain.

Winners see possibilities;

 Losers see problems.

 Winners believe in win-win;

 Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.

 Winners see the potential;

 Losers see the past.

Winners are like a thermostat;

 Losers are like thermometers.

 Winners choose what they say;

 Losers say what they choose. 

Winners use hard arguments but soft words; 

Losers use soft arguments but hard words.

 Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;

 Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

 Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you would not want them to do to you";

Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."

 Winners make it happen;

 Losers let it happen.

 Winners plan and prepare to win.

 The key word is preparation.

Learn to Like the Things That Need to be Done & Start Your Day with a Positive

Step 7: 

Learn to Like the Things That Need to be

 Done Some things need to be done whether we like them or not; for example, mothers caring for their young. They may not be fun and games, and may even be painful. But if we learn to like the task, the impossible becomes possible. 

Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

 --St. Francis of Assisi

Step 8:

 Start Your Day with a Positive

 Read or listen to something positive first thing in the morning. After a good night's sleep we are relaxed and our subconscious is receptive. It sets the tone for the day, and puts us in the right frame of mind to make every day a positive day. In order to bring about change, we need to make a conscious effort Andre committed to make positive thoughts and behavior part of our lives. Practice having positive thoughts and behavior daily until they become a habit. William James of Harvard University said, "If you are going to change your life, you need to start immediately and do it flamboyantly."

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 * As mentioned in Jerry Johnson's book It's Killing Our Kids, p. xvi.

Negative Movies and Television Programs

. 4. Negative Movies and Television Programs
 Today's kids are learning their attitudes and values more from television and movies than from anywhere else. It is estimated that in the United States, by the time a youngster gets out of high school, he has watched more than 20,000 hours of television, witnessed 15,000 murders, and watched 100,000 alcohol-related commercials.* They convey the message that drinking is fun, smoking is glamorous, and drugs are the "in" thing. No wonder the crime rate is so high!

 Soap operas glamorize premarital and extramarital sex. No wonder commitments are lacking in relationships and divorce rates are high. Impressionable viewers set their standards and benchmarks based on what they see and hear in the media. And no matter who it is, we are all impressionable to varying degrees.

 5. Profanity
 Using profanities show a lack of self-control and discipline.

 6. Rock Music 
The lyrics of some hit songs are obscene. We can be subconsciously influenced by the music we hear and the performance we watch. 

Pornography

3. Pornography

 Pornography is nothing short of dehumanizing women and children.

 The consequences of pornography are that it 

• dehumanizes women 
• victimizes children 
• destroys marriages 
• encourages sexual violence 
• makes fun of ethical and moral values
•  destroys individuals, families, and communities

A woman is raped in the United States every 46 seconds. (National Victim Center/crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992). Eighty-six percent of rapists admit to regular use of pornography, with 57 percent admitting imitation of pornography scenes when committing sex crimes (Dr. William Marshall, 1988).* *

 It is sad to see how low some people will stoop to make a buck by making pornography their business. What about the sick people who buy it? * ''In his book It's Killing Our Kids, Word Publishing, p. xv. ** From the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, Annual Report, 1995. 

Smoking, Drugs and Alcohol

2. Smoking, Drugs and Alcohol 

One reason that I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

--Lady Astor 

Drinking makes a person lose his inhibitions and give exhibitions.

                    

 In our travels, we have noticed that in some countries drinking has become a national pastime. If you don't drink, they look at you as if there is something wrong. Their motto is: "It doesn't matter how bad your English is, as long as your Scotch is good." If a banker asked them what their liquid assets are, they would bring two bottles of Scotch.

 Drinking and smoking are glamorized today. It all starts with the first time. If you ask people why they consume alcohol or take drugs, they will give you a host of reasons, such as: to celebrate; to have fun; to forget problems; to relax; to experiment; to impress (it is cool to drink); to be fashionable; to mingle; for business purposes. 

People want to conform to peer pressure. I am amazed at the way peer pressure compels with phrases such as: "Aren't you my friend?"; "One for the road"; "One for my health."

The following poem from an unknown author explains the dilemma of a social drinker well 

I've drunk to your Health

 in taverns,

 I've drunk to your 

Health in my home,

 I've drunk to your

 Health so damn

 many times,

 That I've almost

 ruined my own!

 Drinking and driving cost lives. According to Jerry Johnson,* the American Hospital Association reports that half of all hospital admissions are alcohol-related and according to the National Safety Council's 1989 Accident Facts Edition, a person is injured in an alcohol-related crash every 60 seconds. 

Stay Away from Negative Influences

Step 6: 

 Today's teenagers learn from adult behavior and the media. They face peer pressure. Peer pressure is not just limited to teenagers, it is also prevalent in adults. It shows a lack of self-esteem when people do not have the courage to say "No, thank you," and stay away from negative influences: What are the negative influences?

 1. Negative People

•  An eagle's egg was placed in the nest of a prairie chicken. The egg hatched and the little eagle grew up thinking it was a prairie chicken. The eagle did what the prairie chickens did. It scratched in the dirt for seeds. It clucked and cackled. It never flew more than a few feet because that is what the prairie chickens did. One day he saw an eagle flying gracefully and majestically in the open sky. He asked the prairie chickens: "What is that beautiful bird?" The chickens replied, "That is an eagle. He is an outstanding bird, but you cannot fly like him because you are just a prairie chicken." So the eagle never gave it a second thought, believing that to be the truth. He lived the life of and died a prairie chicken, depriving himself of his heritage because of his lack of vision. What a waste! He was born to win, but was conditioned to lose.

 The same thing is true of most people. The unfortunate part of life is as Oliver Wendall Holmes said, "Most people go to their graves, with music still in them." We don't achieve excellence because of our own lack of vision.

 If you want to soar like an eagle, you have to learn the ways of an eagle. If you associate with achievers, you will become one. If you associate with thinkers, you will become one. If you associate with givers, you will become one.

 If you associate with complainers, you will become one. Whenever people succeed in life, petty people will take cracks at them and try to pull them down. When you refuse to fight petty people, you win. In martial arts, they teach that when someone takes a crack at you, instead of blocking

you should step away. Why? Even to block you require energy. Why not use it more productively? Similarly, in order to fight petty people, you have to come down to their level. This is what they want, because now you are one of them.
 Don't let negative people drag you down. Remember, a person's character is not only judged by the company he or she keeps but also by the company he or she avoids.