SELF-ESTEEM

Building a positive self-esteem & image

•  A beggar was sitting at the train station with a bowl full of pencils. A young executive passed by and dropped a dollar in the bowl. He then boarded the train. Before the doors closed, something came to his mind and he went back to the beggar, grabbed a bunch of pencils, and said, "They are priced right. After all you are a business person and so am I," and he left. Six months later, the executive attended a party. The beggar was also there in a suit and tie. The beggar recognized the executive, went up to him and said, "You probably don't recognize me but I remember you." He then narrated the incident that happened six months before. The executive said, "Now that you have reminded me, I do recall that you were begging. What are you doing here in your suit and tie?" The beggar replied, "You probably don't know what you did for me that day. You were the first person in my life who gave me back my dignity. You grabbed the bunch of pencils and said, 'They are priced right. After all, you are a business person and so am I.' After you left, I thought to myself, what am I doing here? Why am I begging? I decided to do something constructive with my life. I packed my bag, started working and here I am. I Just want to thank you for giving me back my dignity. That incident changed my life."

 What changed in the beggar's life? What changed was that his self-esteem went up and so did his performance. This is the magic of self-esteem in our lives. Simply put, self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. Our opinion of ourselves critically influences everything, from our performance at work, our relationships, and our role as a parent to our accomplishments in life. Self esteem is a major component in determining success or failure. High self-esteem leads to a happy, gratifying and purposeful life. Unless you perceive yourself as worthwhile, you cannot have high self-esteem. All great world leaders and teachers throughout history have concluded that one must be internally driven in order to be a success. We transfer our unconscious self-appraisal to others and they respond to us accordingly. People with high self-esteem grow in conviction, competence and willingness to accept responsibility. They face life with optimism, have better relationships and fulfilling lives. They are motivated and ambitious. They are more sensitive. Their performance and risktaking ability go up. They are open to new opportunities and challenges. They can give and receive criticism and compliments, tactfully, and with ease. 

Self-esteem is a feeling which comes from an awareness of what is good and having done it. 

DEMOTIVATING FACTORS

 Some of the demotivators are:

•  Unfair criticism
•  Negative criticism
•  Public humiliation
•  Rewarding the non performer which can be demotivating for the performer 
• Failure or fear of failure
•  Success which leads to complacence
•  Lack of direction
•  Lack of measurable objectives 
• Low self-esteem 
• Lack of priorities
•  Negative self-talk
•  Office politics 
• Unfair treatment
•  Hypocrisy
•  Poor standards 
• Frequent change
• Responsibility without authority

A satisfied person is not necessarily a motivated person. Some people are satisfied with very little. In this case, satisfaction may lead to complacence. Motivation comes from excitement and excitement does not come unless there is full commitment. New methods of motivation will not work till the demotivating factors are removed. Many times, just removing the demotivating factors can spark motivation.

 Motivators 

What we really want to accomplish is self-motivation, when people do things for their own reasons and not yours. That is lasting motivation. Remember, the greatest motivator is belief. We have to inculcate in ourselves the belief that we are responsible for our actions and behavior. When people accept responsibility, everything improves: quality, productivity, relationships and teamwork.

 A few steps to motivate others:

•  Give recognition
•  Give respect
•  Make work interesting
•  Be a good listener 
• Throw a challenge 
• Help but don't do for others what they should do for themselves

 People do things for their own reasons, not yours. This is illustrated by a story about Ralph Waldo Emerson. He and his son once were struggling to get a calf into the barn. Both father and son were exhausted, pulling and pushing. A little girl was passing by and she sweetly put her little finger into the calf's mouth and the calf lovingly followed her to the barn.

THE FOUR STAGES FROM MOTIVATION TO DEMOTIVATION

1. Motivated Ineffective

 When is an employee most motivated in the cycle of employment? When he joins an organization. Why? Because he wants to prove that by hiring him, the employer made the right decision. He is motivated but because he is new to the environment, he does not know what to do. So he is ineffective. This is the stage when the employee is most open minded, receptive and easy to mold to the culture of the organization. Training and orientation become imperative. Unprofessional organizations have none or very poor orientation programs. The first day on the job, the supervisor shows the new employee his place of work and tells him what to do and leaves. He teaches all the bad along with the good that he is doing. The new employee quickly learns all the mistakes the supervisor is making because that is what he has been taught. The organization loses the opportunity to mold the individual to the culture of that organization. Professional organizations, on the other hand, take special care to induct people into their organizations. They explain to them, among other things, the following the hierarchy expectations of each other do's and donuts parameters and guidelines what is acceptable and what is not what are the resources How can one expect performance unless expectations are made clear up front? If induction and orientation are done well, many potential problems would not surface at all.

 2. Motivated Effective

This is the stage when the employee has learned what to do and does it with drive and energy. He has learned the trade and it reflects in his performance. Then he moves on to the next stage. 3. Demotivated Effective

 After some time the motivation level goes down and the employee starts learning the tricks of the trade. This is the stage when the employee is not motivated. He continues doing just enough so that the employer has no reason to fire him but he is really not motivated. This stage is detrimental to growth--most people in organizations fall into this third stage. A motivated professional learns the trade and leaves the tricks to cheats and crooks, but a demotivated employee starts sabotaging the company. His performance is marginal. He makes fun of the good performers. He rejects new ideas and spreads the negativity all around. Our objective is to bring them back to the second stage of motivated effective through training. An employee ought not to stay in the third stage too long; because from here either they move back to the second stage, which is being motivated and effective, or they move into the fourth stage. 
4. Demotivated Ineffective

 At this stage, the employer does not have much choice but to fire the employee, which may be the most appropriate thing to do anyway at this point. Remember, employers want the same thing as employees do. They want to succeed and improve business and if employees help in this objective, then they make themselves valuable and achieve their own success. 

DIFFERENT THINGS MOTIVATE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

 Internal motivation comes from within, such as pride, a sense of achievement, responsibility and belief.

 Internal Motivation

•  There was a young boy who used to come for regular practice but always played in the reserves and never made it to the soccer eleven. While he was practicing, his father used to sit at the far end, waiting for him. The matches had started and for four days, he didn't show up for practice or the quarter or semifinals. All of a sudden he showed up for the finals, went to the coach and said, "Coach, you have always kept me in the reserves and never let me play in the finals. But today, please let me play." The coach said, "Son, I'm sorry, I can't let you. There are better players than you and besides, it is the finals, the reputation of the school is at stake and I cannot take a chance." The boy pleaded, "Coach, I promise I will not let you down. I beg of you, please let me play." The coach had never seen the boy plead like this before. He said, "OK, son, go, play. But remember, I am going against my better judgment and the reputation of the school is at stake. Don't let me down." The game started and the boy played like a house on fire. Every time he got the ball, he shot a goal. Needless to say, he was the best player and the star of the game. His team had a spectacular win. When the game finished, the coach went up to him and said, "Son, how could I have been so wrong in my life. I have never seen you play like this before. What happened? How did you play so well?" The boy replied, "Coach, my father is watching me today." The coach turned around and looked at the place where the boy's father used to sit. There was no one there. He said, "Son, your father used to sit there when you came for practice, but I don't see anyone there today." The boy replied, "Coach, there is something I never told you. My father was blind. Just four days ago, he died. Today is the first day he is watching me from above."

Internal motivation is the inner gratification, not for success or winning, but for the fulfillment that comes from having done it. It is a feeling of accomplishment, rather than just achieving a goal. Reaching an unworthy goal does not give the gratifying feeling. Internal motivation is lasting, because it comes from within and translates into selfmotivation.

 Motivation needs to be identified and constantly strengthened to succeed. Keep your goals in front of you and read them morning and evening. The two most important motivating factors are recognition and responsibility. Recognition means being appreciated; being treated with respect and dignity; and feeling a sense of belonging.

Responsibility gives a person a feeling of belonging and ownership. He then becomes part of the bigger picture. Lack of responsibility can become demotivating. Monetary rewards are temporary and short-lived; they are not gratifying in the long run. In contrast, seeing an idea being implemented can be emotionally gratifying by itself. People feel that they are not being treated like objects. They feel part of a worthwhile team. The reward of doing the right thing by itself is motivating. 

WE ARE ALL MOTIVATE EITHER POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY

 I heard a story of two brothers. 

• One was a drug addict and a drunk who frequently beat up his family. The other one was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family. Some people wanted to find out why two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different. The first one was asked, "How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?" He said, "My father." They asked, "What about your father?" The reply was, "My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beat his family. What do you expect me to be? That is what I am." They went to the brother who was doing everything right and asked him the same question. "How come you are doing everything right? What is your source of motivation?" And guess what he said? "My father. When I was a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk and doing all the wrong things. I made up my mind that that is not what I wanted to be."

 Both were deriving their strength and motivation from the same source, but one was using it positively and the other negatively. Negative motivation brings the desire to take the easier way which ends up being the tougher way. 

EXTERNAL MOTIVATION

External motivation comes from outside, such as money, societal approval, fame or fear.

 Fear Motivation 

•  Examples of external motivation are fear of getting spanked by parents and fear of getting fired at work. A company wanted to set up a pension plan. In order for the plan to be installed, it needed 100% participation. Everyone signed up except John. The plan made sense and was in the best interest of everyone. John not signing was the only obstacle. John's supervisor and other co-workers had tried to persuade him without success. The owner of the company called John into his office and said, "John, here is a pen and these are the papers for you to sign to enroll into the pension plan. If you don't enroll, you are fired this minute." John signed right away. The owner asked John why he hadn't signed earlier. John replied, "No one explained the plan quite as clearly as you did."

The advantages of fear motivation are:

1.  It gets the job done quickly.
2.  It is instantaneous.
3.  It prevents loss, by meeting deadlines.
4.  In the short run the person's performance may improve.

 Performance Goes Up It is not uncommon to see the prey outsmarting the predator, because one is running for its food and the other for its life. We learn from history that the pyramids were built by slaves. They had to be constantly watched and reprimanded for nonperformance.

 The disadvantages of fear motivation are:

1.  It is external, which means the motivation is there while the motivator is there.When  the motivator goes, the motivation also goes.
2.  It causes stress.
3.  Performance is limited to compliance.
4.  In the long run, performance goes down.
5.  It destroys creativity.
6.  They get used to the stick and then need a bigger stick.

A customer asked an employee, "When did you start working here?" He replied, "Ever since they threatened to fire me."

Incentive Motivation

External motivation can also take the form of incentives, bonuses, commission, recognition, etc. What are the advantages of incentive motivation? The major advantage is that it can work very well as long as the incentive is strong enough.

 Think of a donkey with a carrot dangling in front and with a cart behind. Incentive motivation will only work if the donkey is hungry enough, the carrot is sweet enough and the load is light enough. From time to time, you have to let the donkey take a bite of the carrot; otherwise it is going to get discouraged. After the donkey takes a bite, its stomach is full, and you need to wait for the donkey to get hungry again before it will pull the cart. This is typically seen in our business environment. The moment salespeople meet their quota, they stop working. This is because their motivation is limited to meeting their quota. That is external, not internal. 

LET'S REDEFINE MOTIVATION & HOW DOES IT WORK?

 The next logical question is, what is motivation? Motivation is something that encourages action or feeling. To motivate means to encourage and inspire. Motivation can also mean to turn on or ignite the feeling or action. Motivation is powerful. It can persuade, convince and propel you into action. In other words, motivation can be defined as motive for action. It is a force that can literally change your life.

 Why do we need to get motivated?

 Motivation is the driving force in our lives. It comes from a desire to succeed. Without success there is little pride in life; no enjoyment or excitement at work and at home. Often life becomes like a lopsided wheel giving a bumpy ride. The greatest enemy of motivation is complacence. Complacence leads to frustration, and when people are frustrated they give up because they cannot identify what is important.

 MOTIVATION--HOW DOES IT WORK?
 Once you understand the principle that motivates the motivator, you can proceed to achieve your goal and can motivate others too. Your internal motivation is your drive and attitude. It is contagious. Attitude is the key to getting the response you want from others.
 How does a person stay motivated and focused? 
One important tool that has been used by athletes for a long time is called autosuggestion. Auto suggestions are positive statements made in the present tense and repeated regularly. In other words it is positive self-talk. Motivation is classified into two types: external and internal.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION

 I run seminars nationally and people often ask me if I can motivate others. My answer is no, I cannot. People motivate themselves. What I can do, however, is inspire them to motivate themselves. We can create a conducive environment which can be motivating. In order to inspire people to motivate themselves, we need to understand their needs and wants. There is a direct correlation between motivation and productivity. People who do just enough to get by so they don't get fired will never be valuable to any organization.

 Inspiration is changing thinking; motivation is changing action. Motivation is like fire unless you keep adding fuel to it, it dies. Just like exercise and food don't last long, neither does motivation. However, if the source of motivation is belief in inner values, it becomes long--lasting.

 What is the greatest motivator?

•  Is it money?
•  Recognition?
•  Improvement in our quality of life? 
• Acceptance by those we love?

 All these can be motivating forces. Experience has shown that people will do a lot for money, more for a good leader, and do most for a belief. We see this happening every day all over the world. People will die for a belief. My objective is to share the fact that when we believe that we are responsible for our lives and our behavior, our outlook toward life changes for the better.

MOTIVATION

Motivating yourself & others every day

I believe in two premises: (i) most people are good people, but can do better; and (ii) most people already know what to do, so why aren't they doing it?

 What is missing is the spark--motivation. Some self help books adopt the approach of teaching what to do; we take a different approach. We ask, "Why don't you do it?" If you ask people on the street what should be done, they will give you all the correct answers. But ask them whether they are doing it and the answer will be no. What is lacking is motivation.

 The greatest motivation comes from a person's belief system. That means he needs to believe in what he does and accept responsibility. That is where motivation becomes important. When people accept responsibility for their behavior and actions, their attitude toward life becomes positive. They become more productive, personally and professionally. Their relationships improve both at home and at work. Life becomes more meaningful and fulfilled. 

After a person's basic physical needs are met, emotional needs become a bigger motivator. Every behavior comes out of the "pain or gain" principle. If the gain is greater than the pain, that is the motivator. If the pain is greater than the gain, then that is a deterrent. 

Gains can be tangible, such as: monetary rewards, vacations, and gifts. They can be intangible, such as: recognition, appreciation, sense of achievement, promotion, growth, responsibility, sense of fulfillment, self worth, accomplishment, and belief. 

20th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Lack of Courage

Successful people are not looking for miracles or easy tasks. They seek courage and strength to overcome obstacles. They look at what is left rather than what is lost. Wishes don't come true; beliefs and expectations supported by conviction do. Prayers are only answered when they are supported with courageous action. It is courage and character that is the deadly combination for success. This is the difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary.

When our minds are filled with courage we forget our fears and overcome obstacles. Courage is not absence of fear but the overcoming of fear. Character (justice and integrity) without courage is ineffective, whereas courage without character is oppression.

 A RECIPE FOR SUCCESS

 Success is like baking a cake. Unless you have just the right recipe, it is not going to work. The ingredients must be of the finest quality and in the right proportions. You can't overtake it or undercook it. Once you have the right recipe and with practice and the occasional disaster, it becomes a lot easier. What is the difference between persistence and obstinacy? The difference is that persistence represents a strong will and obstinacy represents a strong won't.

 You have the recipe. To use it is your choice.

 A CRASH COURSE FOR SUCCESS

• Play to win and not to lose. 
• Learn from other people's mistakes.
•  Associate with people of high moral character.
•  Give more than you get.
•  Don't look for something for nothing. 
• Always think long term.
• Evaluate your strengths and build on them.
•  Always keep the larger picture in mind when making a decision. 
• Never compromise your integrity.

19th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Lack of Purpose 

If we read stories of people who overcame serious disabilities, it becomes evident that their burning desire to succeed was their driving force. They had a purpose in life. They wanted to prove to themselves that they could do it in spite of all odds--and they did.

 Desire is what made a paralytic Wilma Rudolph the fastest woman on the track at the 1960 Olympics, winning three gold medals.

 According to Glen Cunningham, "Desire is what made a boy with burnt legs set the world record in the one mile run."

 A polio victim at the age of five started swimming to regain strength. It was because of her desire to succeed that she went on to become a world record holder at three events and won the gold at the 1956 Olympics at Melbourne. Her name is Shelley Mann.

 When people lack purpose and direction, they see no opportunity. If a person has the desire to accomplish something, the direction to know his objective, the dedication to stay focused, and the discipline required to put in the hard work, then other things come easy. But if you don't have them, it doesn't matter what else you have.
 Character is the foundation upon which all else is built. It endures.

18th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Fatalistic Attitude 

A fatalistic attitude prevents people from accepting responsibility for their position in life. They attribute success and failure to luck. They resign themselves to their fate. They believe and accept the predestined future written in their horoscope or stars, that regardless of their effort whatever has to happen will happen. Hence they never put in any effort and complacency becomes a way of life. They wait for things to happen rather than make them happen. Success is a matter of luck, ask any failure.

 Weak-minded people fall easy prey to fortune-tellers, horoscopes and self-proclaimed God's men who are sometimes conmen. They become superstitious and ritualistic. Shallow people believe in luck. People with strength and determination believe in cause and effect. (Some people consider a rabbit's foot lucky; but it wasn't lucky for the rabbit, was it?)

 Some People Think They are Just Unlucky This breeds a fatalistic attitude. People who get involved halfheartedly say things like:

•  "I will give it a try";
•  "I will see if it works";
•  "I will give it a shot";
•  "I have nothing to lose";
•  "I haven't put much into it anyway."

 These people guarantee failure because they get into a project with no dedication or determination. They lack courage, commitment and confidence. They are starting with complacence and call themselves unlucky.

 Effort Does it

•  A man bought a racehorse and put him in a barn with a big sign, "The fastest horse in the world." The owner didn't exercise the horse nor train it to keep it in good shape. He entered the horse in a race and it came last. The owner quickly changed the sign to "The fastest world for the horse." By inaction or not doing what should be done, people fail and they blame luck.

 Life without vision, courage and depth is simply a blind experience. Small, lazy, and weak minds always take the easiest way, the path of least resistance. Athletes train 15 years for 15 seconds of performance. Ask them if they got lucky. Ask an athlete how he feels after a good workout. He will tell you that he feels spent. If he doesn't feel that way, it means he hasn't worked out to his maximum ability.

 Losers think life is unfair. They think only of their bad breaks. They don't consider that the person who is prepared and playing well still got the same bad breaks but overcame them. That is the difference. The winner's threshold for tolerating pain becomes higher because in the end he is not training so much for the game but for his character.

 LUCK FAVORS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES

•  A flood was threatening a small town and everyone was leaving for safety except one man who said, "God will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose a jeep came to rescue him, the man refused, saying "God will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose further, he went up to the second story, and a boat came to help him. Again he refused to go, Belying, "God will save me. I have faith." The water kept rising and the man climbed on to the roof. A helicopter came to rescue him, but he said, "God will save me. I have faith." Well, finally he drowned. When he reached his Maker he angrily questioned, "I had complete faith in you. Why did you ignore my prayers and let me drown?" The Lord replied, "Who do you think sent you the jeep, the boat, and the helicopter?" 

The only way to overcome the fatalistic attitude is to accept responsibility and believe in the law of cause and effect rather than luck. It takes action, preparation and planning rather than waiting, wondering or wishing, to accomplish anything in life.

 Luck Shines on the Deserving

 Alexander Graham Bell was desperately trying to invent a hearing aid for his partially deaf wife. He failed at inventing a hearing aid but in the process discovered the principles of the telephone. You wouldn't call someone like that lucky, would you?

Good luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Without effort and preparation, lucky coincidences don't happen.

 LUCK

 He worked by day

 And toiled by night.

 He gave up play 

And some delight.

 Dry books he read,

 New things to learn. 

And forged ahead, 

Success to earn. 

He plodded on with

 Faith and pluck;

 And when he won,

 Men called it luck. --Anonymous

17th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Lack of Knowledge 

The first step towards knowledge is awareness of areas of ignorance. The more knowledge a person gets, the more he realizes what areas he is ignorant in. A person who thinks he knows everything has the most to learn. Ignorant people don't know they are ignorant. They don't know that they don't know. In fact more than ignorance, the bigger problem is the illusion of knowledge, which can mislead a person. 

16th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Poor self-esteem 

Poor self-esteem is a lack of self-respect and self-worth. It leads to abuse of one's self and others. Ego takes the driver's seat. Decisions are taken more to satisfy the ego than to accomplish anything worthwhile. People with low self-esteem are constantly looking for identity. They are trying to find themselves. One's self is not to be found but to be created.
 Idleness and laziness are consequences of poor self esteem and so is making excuses. Idleness is like rust that eats into the most brilliant metal.

15th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Lack of Discipline 

Have you ever wondered why some people never reach their goals? Why they are always frustrated with reversals and crises? Why is it some people have continued success, while others have endless failures? Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never done so without discipline, whether in sports, athletics, academia or business.

 People without discipline t y to do everything, but commit themselves to nothing. Some r so-called liberal thinkers have interpreted lack of discipline as freedom. When I am in an aircraft I want a pilot who is disciplined and does what he is supposed to do and not what he feels like doing. I don't want him to have the philosophy, "I'm free. I don't want anyone from the control tower telling me what to do."

 Lack of consistency is poor discipline. Discipline takes self-control, sacrifice, and avoiding distractions and temptations. It means staying focused. Steam does not move the engine unless it is confined. Niagara Falls would not generate power unless it were harnessed.

 We all know the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare used to brag about his speed and challenged the tortoise to a race. The tortoise accepted the challenge. They appointed the fox as the judge who gave them the starting and finishing points. The race started and the tortoise kept going steadily. The hare ran quickly, left the tortoise behind and decided to take a nap since he was so confident he would win the race. By the time he woke up, remembered the race and started running, he saw that the tortoise had already reached the finish line and won.

 Consistency takes discipline and is more important than erratic effort.

 Discipline and regret are both painful.

 Most people have a choice between the two. Guess which is more painful. Generally children brought up with excessive freedom and a lack of discipline grow up not respecting themselves, their parents or society, and have a hard time accepting responsibility. 

14th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

 Inability to Use Talent 

Albert Einstein said, "I think I used about 25% of my intellectual capacity during my life." 
According to William James, human beings use only 10-12% of their potential.
 The saddest part of most people's lives is that they die with the music still in them. They haven't lived while alive. They rust out rather than wear out. I would rather wear out than rust out. The saddest words in life are "I should have". Rusting out is not to be confused with patience. Rusting out is idleness and passivity. Patience is a conscious decision, it is active and involves perseverance and persistence. Someone asked an elderly person, "What is life's heaviest burden?" The elderly person replied sadly, "To have nothing to carry." 

13th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Fear

Fear can be real or imaginary. It makes people do strange things and primarily comes because of a lack of understanding. To live in fear is like being in an emotional prison. Fear results in insecurity, lack of confidence, procrastination. Fear destroys our potential and ability. We cannot think straight. It ruins relationships and health.

 Some of the common fears are:

•  fear of failing
•  fear of the unknown
•  fear of being unprepared
•  fear of making the wrong decision
•  fear of rejection

Some fears can be described, others felt. Fear leads to anxiety, which in turn leads to irrational thinking, which actually sabotages our solution to the problem. The normal response to fear is escape. Escape puts us in our comfort zone and reduces the impact temporarily, while keeping the cause. Imaginary fear magnifies the problem. Fear can get out of hand and destroy happiness and relationships.

 Fear of failure often can be worse than failure itself. Failure is not the worst thing that could happen to someone. People who don't try have failed before attempting. When infants learn to walk, they keep falling; but to them it is not failing so they get up. If they got disheartened, they would never walk. It is better to die on one's feet than to live with fear on one's knees.

12th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Inability to Recognize Opportunity 

Opportunities come disguised as obstacles. That is why most people don't recognize them. Remember that the bigger the obstacle, the bigger is the opportunity. 

11th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

Not Learning from Past Mistakes

People who do not learn lessons from history are doomed. Failure is a teacher if we have the right attitude. Failure is a detour, not a dead end. It is a delay, not a defeat. Experience is the name we give to our mistakes. Some people live and learn, and some only live. Wise people learn from their mistakes wiser people learn from other people's mistakes. Our lives are not long enough to learn only from our own mistakes.

10th Reasons For Failure Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

 Rationalizing 

Winners may analyze but never rationalize that is a loser's game. Losers always have a book full of excuses to tell you why they could not. We hear excuses like:

•  I'm unlucky.
•  I'm born under the wrong stars.
•  I'm too young.
•  I'm too old.
•  I'm handicapped.
•  I'm not smart enough.
•  I'm not educated.
•  I'm not good looking.
•  I don't have contacts.
•  I don't have enough money.
•  I don't have enough time.
• The economy is bad.
•  If only I had the opportunity.
•  If only I didn't have a family.
•  If only I had married right.

 The list can go on and on.

 HOW THEY CATCH MONKEYS IN INDIA

 Monkey-hunters use a box with an opening at the top, big enough for the monkey to slide its hand in. Inside the box are nuts. The monkey grabs the nuts and now its hand becomes a fist. The monkey tries to get its hand out but the opening is big enough for the hand to slide in, but too small for the fist to come out. Now the monkey has a choice, either to let go off the nuts and be free forever or hang on to the nuts and get caught. Guess what it picks every time? You guessed it. He hangs on to the nuts and gets caught.

 We are no different from monkeys. We all hang on to some nuts that keep us from going forward in life. We keep rationalizing by saying, "I cannot do this because . . ." and whatever comes after "because" are the nuts that we are hanging on to which are holding us back.

 Successful people don't rationalize. Two things determine if a person will be a success: reasons and results. Reasons don't count while results do. A good advice for failure is: Don't think, don't ask and don't listen. Just rationalize.