Be a Good Listener

Step 8: 

 Ask yourself these questions. How does it make you feel when you wanted somebody to listen to you and 

• They did more talking than listening?
•  They disagreed with the first thing you said. 
• They interrupted you at every step.
•  They were impatient and completed every sentence you started.
•  They were physically present but mentally absent. 
• They heard but didn't listen. You had to repeat the same thing three times because the other person wasn't listening.
•  They came to conclusions unrelated to facts.
•  They asked questions on unrelated topics. 
• They were fidgety and distracted. 
• They were obviously not listening or paying attention.

 All these things show disinterest in the person or the topic and a total lack of courtesy.

 Do the following words describe the feeling of not being listened to?

•  Neglected                                           
•  Rejected
•  Dejected 
• Let down
•  Unimportant 
• Small
•  Ignored
•  Belittled

•  Annoyed
•  Stupid 
• Worthless
•  Embarrassed
• Demotivated
•  Disheartened 

 Let's reverse the scenario. How does it make you feel when you want someone to listen to you and they

•  make you comfortable.
•  give you their undivided attention.
•  ask appropriate and relevant questions.
•  show interest in your subject.

 Do the following words describe the feeling of being listened to?

1.  Important  2.Pleased 3. Satisfied  4.Worthwhile 5. Cared for 6. Good 7. Happy 8.Appreciated  9.Encouraged 10.Inspired

What are some of the barriers to effective listening?
 External Barriers 1. physical 2. noise 3. fatigue
 Internal Barriers 1. distractions  preoccupation or absent-mindedness 2. prejudice and prejudging people 3. no interest in subject or speaker

 There could be intellectual barriers, such as language, comprehension, etc. In order to inspire others to speak, be a good listener. 

Listening shows caring. When you show a caring attitude toward another person, that person feels important. When he feels important, what happens? He is more motivated and more receptive to your ideas. 

An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart. --David Augsburger

 In order to be a good listener:

•  Encourage the speaker to talk. 
• Ask questions. It shows interest.
•  Don't interrupt.
•  Don't change the topic.
•  Show understanding and respect.
•  Pay attention, concentrate.
•  Avoid distractions.
•  Show empathy.
•  Be open-minded. Don't let preconceived ideas and prejudices prevent you from listening. 
• Concentrate on the message and not on the delivery.
•  Recognize the nonverbal communication, such as facial expressions, eye contact, etc. They might be communicating a different message from the verbal.
•  Listen to feelings and not just words.