ACTION PLAN

1. Read life stories of people who have turned negatives into positives. Make reading good books or listening to inspirational audio tapes part of your daily routine.

 2. Regularly and systematically commit a portion of your time and/or money to charitable activity without any expectations in cash or kind.

 3. Stay away from negative influences. Don't give into peer pressure. 

4. Practice giving and receiving sincere compliments graciously.

 5. Start accepting responsibility for your behavior and actions.

 6. Practice self-discipline even when it is not comfortable. 

7. Associate with people of high moral character

8. Be creative and find ways to turn your weaknesses into strengths.

 9. Practice patience; persevere even if the results are not visible.

WORLD, MY SON STARTS SCHOOL TODAY!*

 World, take my child by the hand--he starts school today!

 It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently. You see, up to now, he has been king of the roost. He has been the boss of the backyard. I have always been around to repair his wounds, and I have always been handy to soothe his feelings.

 But now things are going to be different. This morning he is going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand, and start on a great adventure that probably will include wars and tragedy and sorrow.

 To live in this world will require faith and love and courage. So, World, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know. Teach him-but gently, if you can.

 He will have to learn, I know, that all people are not just that all men and women are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel, there is a hero; that for every enemy, there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest people to lick. 

Teach him the wonder of books. Give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hill. Teach him that it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong.

 Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is getting on the bandwagon. Teach him to listen to others, but to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and to take only the good that comes through.

 Teach him never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Teach him to close his ears on the howling mob-and to stand and fight if he thinks he is right. Teach him gently, World, but do not coddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel. 

This is a big order, World, but see what you can do. He is such a nice son.

                                                             

                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                              --Signed, Abraham Lincoln 

Have Patience

A lot of times we hear people saying that one exposure to a positive or a negative material does not have any impact. That is not true. The difference may not be visible but something is happening.

 In China there is a bamboo tree which is planted, watered and fertilized for the first four years and nothing happens. There is no visible sign of growth. But sometime during the fifth year, the bamboo tree grows about 90 feet in six weeks. The question is: Did the bamboo tree grow in six weeks or did it take five years to grow even though there was no visible sign it was taking root in the ground? When there was no visible sign, if someone had stopped watering and fertilizing it, would this have happened? Certainly not. The bamboo tree would have died. We need to learn from nature and the lesson is pretty clear. Have patience and faith and keep doing the right thing. Even though the results may not be visible, something is happening.

 Take Inventory: Make a List of All Your Strengths and Weaknesses

 Successful people realize their limitations but build on their strengths. Unless we know these things, how can we build on them? Focus on what you want to do and be, rather than what you don't.                                 STRENGTHS                                                                          WEAKNESSES

 -----------------                                                                                       --------------------

 ------------------                                                                                     -------------------

The crux of self-esteem cannot be expressed better than the following words by Abraham Lincoln. 

Our Greatest Strength Can Become Our Greatest Weakness & Our Greatest Weakness Can Become Our Greatest Strength

Our Greatest Strength Can Become Our Greatest Weakness

 Any strength overextended becomes a weakness. For example, in sales, good speaking ability is a strength. It is not uncommon to see salespeople with good speaking ability talk themselves into a sale, then talk too much and talk themselves right out of the sale. Their strength got them into it; however, overextended, it became a weakness and they lost the sale. Listening is a strength. Overextended, however, it could mean that a person listens a lot but does not speak enough. It becomes a weakness.

Our Greatest Weakness Can Become Our Greatest Strength

Anger is a weakness. How can it be turned into a strength? One lady demonstrated by getting MADD! MADD stands for Mothers Against Drunk Driving. This lady lost her child because of a drunk driver. She got so angry that she resolved not to tolerate this kind of thing in society. She organized people all over the United States to fight drunk driving. Today she and her association have become a significant force, with thousands of members, and are succeeding in their pursuit to change legislation in Congress. That is turning a negative emotion, like anger, into a strength by doing positive. 

Give Yourself Positive Auto-Suggestions

 Develop the habit of giving yourself positive self-talk. Auto-suggestions alter our belief system by influencing the subconscious mind. Our behavior reflects our belief system. Hence auto-suggestions affect our behavior by influencing our belief system. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Examples:

•  I can handle it.
•  I can do it.
•  I am good at math.
•  I have a good memory.

Develop a Mindset That Brings Happiness

 Bitterness is a sign of emotional failure. It paralyzes our capacity to do good. Set your own standards. Be honest to yourself. Compete against yourself. Do the following:

• Look for the positive in every person and in every situation.
•  Resolve to be happy.
•  Set your own standards judiciously. 
• Develop an immunity to negative criticism.
•  Learn to find pleasure in every little thing. 
• Remember all times are not the same. Ups and downs are part of life.
•  Make the best of every situation. 
• Keep yourself constructively occupied. 
• Help others less fortunate than yourself. 
• Learn to get over things. Don't brood. 
• Forgive yourself and others. Don't hold guilt or bear grudges.

Become Internally Driven, Not Externally Driven

One day, if someone gets up on the right side of the bed and calls me and says, "You are the greatest person on earth. You are doing a great job and I want you to know I am honored to call you a friend," I know he is sincere. How does it make me feel? Great. But the next day, he gets up on the wrong side of the bed, picks up the phone and says, "You rascal, you cheat, you crook! You are the biggest fraud in town." How does it make me feel? Terrible. 

So the first day when he says "you are the greatest guy," I feel great and the next day when he says "you rascal," I feel terrible. Who is controlling my life? Obviously, he is. Is that the way I want to go through life? Not at all. That is being externally driven.

 I want to be internally driven. When he calls me and says I am the greatest guy, it is good to hear those words. But even if he doesn't say those words, in my own estimation, I am still a good human being. And the next day when he rips me apart, he can't really, because in my own estimation, I am still a good human being. When people make statements like, "You make me angry," the focus of control is external. But if I say I am angry or I choose to be angry, the focus of control is internal. 

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. --Eleanor Roosevelt 

There is a story about an ancient Indian sage who was called ugly names by a passerby. The sage listened unperturbed till the man ran out of words. He asked the man, "If an offering is not accepted, who does it belong to?" The man replied, "It belongs to the person who offered it." The sage said, "I refuse to accept your offering," and walked away, leaving the man dazed. The sage was internally driven.

 So long as we blame outside sources, our miseries will continue and we will feel helpless. Unless we accept responsibility for our feelings and behavior, we cannot change. The first step is to ask:

•  Why did I get upset?
•  Why am I angry?
•  Why am I depressed?

Then we start getting the clues to overcome them. Happiness is a result of positive self-esteem. If you ask people what makes them happy, you will get all kinds of answer. Most of them would include material things but that is not really true. Happiness comes from being and not having. One can have everything in life and yet not be happy. The reverse is also true.
 Happiness is internal. Happiness is like a butterfly. You run after it, it keeps flying away. If you stand still, it comes and sits on your shoulder. 

Associate with People of High Moral Character

 Associate yourself with people of good quality if you esteem your reputation for it is better to be alone than to be in bad company.-- George Washington 

Test of Friendship 

Negative influences come in the form of peer pressure. People say, "Aren't you my friend?" Remember, true friends never want to see their friends hurt. If I ever saw that a friend had had one drink too many, I would put my foot down and not let him drive. I would rather lose the friendship than lose a friend.

 It is common to see people doing wrong things to get accepted, saying, "it is cool," not realizing they will be left cold. What starts as peer pressure may be in reality a test of friendship. Where will they be when you are in trouble? How far will they go to help you? And the biggest question is: If they don't have the character today, how will they have the character tomorrow to help you? Associating with people of high moral character helps build self esteem. 

Peer Pressure

 When the desire to belong to the herd becomes stronger than the desire to stand up for what is right, it is evident that what is lacking is courage and character. It is less controversial. Going along to get along is a safer way, keeps one's peers happy and one does not risk being laughed at. That is where people with high self-esteem draw the line. That is what separates the men from the boys.

 Examples:

•  School kids conform because they do not want to be laughed at.
•  They don't give the answers because others will make fun of them.
•  Factory workers keep performance low to keep peers happy.

Moderation

Many people say, "In moderation, it is OK. I try a little and quit." The question is, "In moderation, is it really okay?"

•  to cheat?
•  to steal?
•  to take drugs?
•  to lie?
•  to have illicit affairs?

 Some people frequently rationalize, "I can quit whenever I want." T hey don't realize that negative influences are more powerful than will-power. 

Practice Discipline & Set Goals

Practice Discipline
Self-discipline does not kill joy but builds it. You see people with talent and
ability, and yet they are unsuccessful. They are frustrated and the same behavior pattern affects their
business, their health, and their relationships with others. They are dissatisfied and blame it on luck
without realizing that many problems are caused by lack of discipline.
 Set Goals
 Well-defined goals give a person a sense of direction, a feeling of accomplishment when he reaches his goals. More important than goals is a sense of purpose and vision. It gives meaning and fulfillment to life.
What we get upon achieving our goals is a lot less important than what we become. It is the becoming which
gives us a good feeling. That is what self-esteem is all about. In goal-setting, we need to be realistic.
Unrealistic goals remain unaccomplished, leading to poor self-esteem, whereas realistic goals are
encouraging and build high self-esteem.

STEPS TO BUILDING A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM

Learn to Give and Receive Compliments 

Don't miss out on any opportunity to give sincere compliments. Remember, the key word is sincerity. When others give you a compliment, accept it graciously and gracefully with two words, "Thank you." That is a sign of humility.

 Accept Responsibility

 We need to accept responsibility for our behavior and our actions and insulate ourselves from excuses. Don't be like the student who failed just because he didn't like the teacher or the subject. Who is he hurting the most? We have to accept responsibility and stop blaming others, then, and only then, will productivity and quality of life improve. 

Our privileges can be no greater than our obligations. The protection of our rights can endure no longer than the performance of our responsibilities. -John F. Kennedy

 Excuses make the problem worse than the problem itself.

 We owe responsibility 

• to self
•  to family
•  to work
•  to society 
• to the environment

 We can add to the greenery by planting trees, stopping soil erosion, preserving natural beauty.

 We cannot live as if we have another earth we can move to. On a daily basis, we need to do something that makes this world a better place to live. We are custodians for the future generations. If we do not behave responsibly, how can future generations forgive us?

 If the average life expectancy of a person is 75 years and if you are 40 years old, you have 365 days x 35 years, to live. Ask yourself this question: What are you going to do with this time? When we accept or add responsibility, we make ourselves more valuable. Don't we? 

3rd STEPS TO BUILDING A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM

Do Something for Others Who Cannot Repay You in Cash or Kind

 Dr. Karl Menninger, a world-renowned psychiatrist, was once asked, "What would you advise someone if you knew that person was going to have a nervous breakdown?" The audience expected Dr. Menninger to advise consulting a professional. But he didn't. He said, "I would advise that person to lock home, go to the other side of town, find someone in need and help that person. By doing that we get out of our own way." A lot of times we get in our own way, don't we?

 Be a volunteer. It builds self-worth. Helping others as you would expect others to help you gives a feeling of gratification. It is a good feeling which represents high self-esteem. The process of giving without having expectations or getting anything in return raises one's self esteem. 

A healthy personality has the need not only to get but also to give. 

2nd STEPS TO BUILDING A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM

Learn Intelligent Ignorance

 Education teaches us what we can do and also teaches us what we cannot do.

 I'm looking for a lot of men with an infinite capacity for not knowing what cannot be done. --Henry Ford 

Henry Ford gave this world the V8 engine. He did not have much formal education. In fact, he did not go to school beyond the age of 14. He was intelligent enough to know there had to be a V8 engine but he was ignorant and didn't know how to build it. So he asked all his highly qualified, educated people to build one. But they told him what could be done and what couldn't. According to them, a V8 was an impossibility. But Henry Ford insisted on having his V8. A few months later he asked his people if they had the V8 and they replied, "We know what can be done and we also know what cannot be done and V8 is an impossibility." This went on for many months and still Henry Ford said, "I want my V8." And shortly thereafter the same people produced his V8 engine. How come? They let their imagination run beyond academic limitation. Education teaches us what can be done and sometimes also teaches us false limitations. 

THE BUMBLEBEE

 We need to learn from nature. According to scientists, the bumblebee's body is too heavy and its wing span too small. Aerodynamically, the bumblebee cannot fly. But the bumblebee doesn't know that and it keeps flying.

 When you don't know your limitations, you go out and surprise yourself. In hindsight, you wonder if you had any limitations. The only limitations a person has are those that are self-imposed. Don't let education put limitations on you. 

1st STEPS TO BUILDING A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM

 Turn Scars into Stars

 Read the life histories of people who have turned a negative into a positive, adversity into advantage, stumbling blocks into stepping stones. They refuse to let disappointment and failures pull them down. Some of the best music was composed by Beethoven. What was his handicap? He was deaf. Some of the best poetry written on nature was written by Milton. What was his handicap? He was blind. One of the greatest world leaders was US President Franklin D. Roosevelt. What was his handicap? He served from a wheelchair. 

THE WILMA RUDOLPH STORY *

 Wilma Rudolph was born into a poor home in Tennessee. At age four, she had double pneumonia with scarlet fever, a deadly combination which left her paralyzed with polio. She had to wear a brace and the doctor said she would never put her foot on the earth. But her mother encouraged her; she told Wilma that with God-given ability, persistence and faith she could do anything she wanted. Wilma said, "I want to be the fastest woman on the track on this earth." At the age of nine, against the advice of the doctors, she removed the brace and took the first step the doctors had said she never would.
 At the age of 13, she entered her first race and came way, way last. And then she entered her second, and third and fourth and came way, way last until a day came when she came in first. At the age of 15 she went to Tennessee State University where she met a coach by the name of Ed Temple. She told him, "I want to be the fastest woman on the track on this earth." Temple said, "With your spirit nobody can stop you and besides, I will help you." 
The day came when she was at the Olympics and at the Olympics you are matched with the best of the best. Wilma was matched against a woman named Jutta Heine who had never been beaten. The first event was the 100-meter race. Wilma beat Jutta Heine and won her first gold medal. The second event was the 200-meter race and Wilma beat Jutta a second time and won her second gold medal. The third event was the 400-meter relay and she was racing against Jutta one more time. In the relay, the fastest person always runs the last lap and they both anchored their teams. The first three people ran and changed the baton easily. When it came to Wilma's turn, she dropped the baton. But Wilma saw Jutta shoot up at the other end; she picked the baton, ran like a machine, beat Jutta a third time and won her third gold medal. It became history: That a paralytic woman became the fastest woman on this earth at the 1960 Olympics. 

What a lesson to be learnt from Wilma. It teaches us that successful people do it in spite of, not in absence of, problems.

 When we hear or read stories of people who have turned adversity into opportunity, doesn't it motivate us? If we regularly read biographies and autobiographies of such people, won't we stay motivated? 

Right Values

Ask yourself: Without discipline,

•  can a captain run a ship effectively?
•  can an athlete win a game?
•  can a violinist play well at a concert?

The answer is, "Of course not." Why then do we question today, in matters of personal conduct, or to achieve any standard, if discipline is necessary? It is absolutely necessary. 

Today the philosophy is: "If it feels good, do it." I have heard parents innocently saying, "I don't care what my kids do so long as it makes them happy. That is all that matters." I ask them, "Wouldn't you want to know what makes them happy?" If beating people up on the streets and taking their things away are what make them happy, there is a word in the English language for them, it is called "perversion." How and where we derive our happiness from is just as important as the happiness itself. It is a result of our values, discipline and responsibility. We keep hearing "do what you like." The reverse is just as true. Like what you do. Many times we need to do what ought to be done whether we like it or not. 

A mother comes home after a long day's work, takes care of the household chores, looks after the baby and goes to sleep exhausted. In the middle of the night the baby cries. Does mama feel like getting up? No, but she gets up anyway. Why? For three reasons:

•  Love 
• Duty
• Responsibility 

We cannot live our lives by emotions alone. We need to add discipline, no matter what age we are. Winning in life comes when we do not succumb to what we want to do but do what ought to be done. That requires discipline.

 Labeling and Put-Downs By Parents, Teachers and Supervisors

 Have you heard some parents playfully or affectionately calling their kids "dummy" and "stupid"? Labels stick for life. When the kids grow up they will be sure to prove the parents right. Labels do not only stick for life but for generations. The caste system in India is a prime example of how labeling can hurt. Upper caste or lower caste, "If it is not a label, what is it?"

 Common put-downs parents say to their kids are:

•  You are dumb. 
• You never do anything right. 
• You will never amount to anything.

Teaching the Right Values 

Many times, inadvertently and innocently, we end up teaching wrong values within our families and organizations. For example, we tell our children or staff to lie for us.

• Tell them I am not here. 
• The check is in the mail. 

We all look to our parents, teachers and supervisors to teach us integrity. And many times we are disappointed. Practicing these petty lies turns a person into a professional liar. When we teach others to lie for us, a day will come when they will lie to us too. For example, a secretary calls in sick when she really wants to go shopping. Maybe the boss gave her enough practice lying for him that she has become an expert in lying to him. 

Discipline is Loving Firmness

 I have asked this question to many participants in my seminars: "If your child had a fever of 105degF and did not want to go to the doctor, what would you do?" Invariably they said they would get medical help even if the child resisted. Why? Because it is in the best interest of the child.

 Parenting is Not a Popularity Contest

•  A judge, when sentencing a man for robbery, asked if he had anything to say. The man replied, "Yes, your honor. Please sentence my parents to jail also." The judge asked, "Why?" The prisoner answered, "When I was a little boy, I stole a pencil from school. My parents knew about it but never said a word. Then I stole a pen. They knowingly ignored it. I continued to steal many other things from the school and the neighborhood till it became an obsession. They knew about it, yet they never said a word. If anyone belongs in jail with me, they do."

He is right. In not discharging their responsibilities, his parents are also to blame although it does not absolve him of his responsibility. Giving choices to children is important, but choices without direction result in disaster. Complete mental and physical preparation is the result of sacrifice and self discipline.

 Parents spend an average of 15 minutes a week in "meaningful dialog" with their children-- children who are left to glean whatever values they can from peers and TV. --Journal of the American Family Association

Discipline Gives Freedom

 Allowing a child to eat a box of chocolate could lead to sickness. At the same time, the discipline of eating one or two pieces a day can be an enjoyable experience for a longer time. Our instinct makes us do whatever we want regardless of the consequences.

 Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired but controlling the desire. --Epictetus There is a misconception that freedom means doing your own thing. One cannot always have what one desires. Many times it is not easy to comprehend the benefits of good values and discipline. It may even seem more profitable, enjoyable and convenient to do otherwise. All we need to do is see countless instances where lack of discipline has prevented people from succeeding. What we think is pulling us down is really taking us up. That is what discipline is all about.

 A boy was flying a kite with his father and asked him what kept the kite up. Dad replied, "The string." The boy said, "Dad, it is the string that is holding the kite down." The father asked his son to watch as he broke the string. Guess what happened to the kite? It came down. Isn't that true in life? Sometimes the very things that we think are holding us down are the things that are helping us fly. That is what discipline is all about.

 I Want to Be Free 

We hear this phrase all the time: "I want to be free." If you take the train off the track, it is free, but where does it go? If everyone could make their own traffic Iaws and drive on any side of the road would you call that freedom or chaos? What is missing is discipline. By observing the rule, we are actually gaining freedom, aren't we? 

Confusing Failing with Failure

When people fail in any particular event, most get so disheartened that they start looking at themselves as failures, not realizing that failing does not equal failure. I might have failed but I am not a failure. I may be fooled but I am not a fool.

 Unrealistic Expectations of Perfection by Parents, Teachers and Supervisors

 Suppose a child comes home with a report card with five As and one B. Usually the first thing his parents will say is, "Why the B?" What do you think will go through the child's mind? Did he try for the B? Or should his parents congratulate the child for the B and accept a lower standard? Not at all. What the child is really looking for is acknowledgement and encouragement for the effort in getting the five A's. A parent, after acknowledging and praising the As, can make clear his expectations of seeing all six A's and offer help if needed. If we lower our standards, the chances are pretty good that the performance next time would drop to those expectations. Similarly at work, an employee does 100 things right and one thing wrong. Guess what the boss picks on. Acknowledge the positive but don't lower your standards.

 Lack of Discipline 

What is Discipline? 

Is it absolute freedom to do what a person wants? Is freedom regardless of consequences? Does it mean corrective action after a problem occurs or a wrong is done? Is it imposition? Is it abuse? Does it take away freedom? The answer is none of the above. Discipline does not mean that a person takes a belt and beats up kids. That is madness. Discipline is loving firmness. It is direction. It is prevention before a problem arises. It is harnessing and channeling energy for great performance. Discipline is not something you do to but you do for those you care about. Discipline is an act of love. Sometimes you have to be unkind to be kind: Not all medicine is sweet, not all surgery is painless, but we have to take it. We need to learn from nature. We are all familiar with that big animal, the giraffe. A mama giraffe gives birth to a baby giraffe, standing. All of a sudden, the baby falls on a hard surface from the cushion of mama's womb, and sits on the ground. The first thing mama does is to get behind the baby and give him a hard kick. The baby gets up, but his legs are weak and wobbly and the baby falls down. Mama goes behind again and gives him one more kick. The baby gets up but sits down again. Mama keeps kicking till the baby gets on its feet and starts moving. Why? Because mama knows that the only chance of survival for the baby in the jungle is to get on its feet. Otherwise it will be eaten up by wildcats and become dead meat.

 My question to you is: Is this an act of love? You bet it is. 

Children brought up in a loving, disciplined environment end up respecting their parents more and become law-abiding citizens. The reverse is just as true. If discipline is practiced in every home, juvenile delinquency would be reduced by 95%. --J. Edgar Hoover

 Good parents are not afraid of momentary dislikes by children to enforce the subject.

Making Unfair Comparison

 Fair comparisons are OK but unfair comparisons make a person feel inferior. Comparison basically brings out the competitive spirit to outperform the next person. People with high self-esteem don't compete with others; instead, they improve their own performance. They compete against themselves. They compare their performance against their capabilities.

 Failure or Success: A Ripple Effect 

There is a lot of truth in the statement, "success breeds success and failure breeds failure." In sports, we often see that whenever the champion's morale is low--and it does get low at some point--the coach will never put him up against a good fighter because if he suffers one more defeat, his self-esteem will go even lower. To bring his selfconfidence back, the coach pits him against a weak opponent, and that victory raises his self-esteem. A slightly stronger opponent is next and that victory brings up the level of confidence, and on and on until the day comes when the champion is ready to face the ultimate challenge.

 With every success, self-confidence goes up and it is easier to succeed the next time. For this reason, any good leader, be it a parent, teacher or supervisor, would start a child off with easy tasks. With every successful completion, the child's level of confidence and self-esteem go up. Add to that positive strokes of encouragement, and this will start solidifying positive self-esteem. Our responsibility is to help break the chain of failure and put ourselves and our children into the chain of success. 

Education

Being ignorant is not shameful, but being unwilling to learn is. Role models can teach through example. Children who are taught the importance of integrity during their formative years generally don't lose it. It becomes a part of life, which is what we are looking for in any profession, whether in a contractor, attorney, accountant, politicians police officer, or judge. Integrity is a lot stronger than honesty. In fact, it is the foundation of honesty.

 Youths are impressionable. When they see their mentors--such as parents, teachers, or political leaders--cheating with pride or bragging about petty dishonesty such as stealing a towel in a hotel or cutlery from the restaurants, the following happens:

•  They are disappointed.
•  They lose respect for their mentors.
•  Constant exposure breeds acceptance in them.

 POOR ROLE MODELS

 A schoolteacher asked a little boy what his father did for a living. The boy replied, "I'm not sure, but I guess he makes pens, pencils, light bulbs, toilet rolls, etc., because that is what he brings home every day in his lunch box." 

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

 If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
 If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
 If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
 If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
 If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
 If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
 If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
 If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
 If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
 If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. 
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
 he learns to find love in the world. 

BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE

 A young couple used to leave their daughter at a day-care center every day before going to work. As they parted company, the parents and child kissed each other's hands and then put the kisses in their pockets. All during the day when the little girl got lonely she would take out a kiss and put it on her cheek. This little routine made them feel together even though they were physically apart. What a wonderful thought.

 What Makes a Child a Delinquent?

 Teach him to put a price tag on everything and he will put his integrity for sale.

 Teach him never to take a stand and then he will fall for anything.

 Make him believe that winning is not everything.

 It is the only thing and he will make every effort to win by hook or by crook. Give a child everything he wants right from infancy and he will grow up believing that the world owes him a living and everything will be handed to him on a platter. When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he is cute. Don't ever give him any moral or ethical values. Wait until he is 21 and let him "determine his own." Give him choices without direction. Never teach him that every choice has a consequence. Never tell him he is wrong, he might develop a complex. This will condition him to believe that society is against him when he gets arrested for doing something wrong. Always pick up things that he leaves lying around--books, shoes, clothes, etc. Do everything for him so that he will learn to push all responsibilities onto others. Let him read, watch and hear anything he wants. Be careful what he feeds his body, but let his mind feed on garbage. In order to be popular with his peers, he must go along to get along. Quarrel frequently when he is present. This way he won't be surprised when things fall apart at home. Give him as much money as he wants.

 Never teach him respect for or the value of money. Make sure he does not have things as tough as you did. Provide instant gratification for all sensual desires such as food, drink, comfort. Deprivation can cause frustration. Side with him against neighbors, teachers, etc., as they are prejudiced against him. When he gets into real trouble, excuse yourself by saying, "I tried my best but could never do anything with him." Don't put your foot down because you believe discipline takes away freedom. Prefer remote control to parental control in order to teach independence. What children get, they give to society.