Right Values

Ask yourself: Without discipline,

•  can a captain run a ship effectively?
•  can an athlete win a game?
•  can a violinist play well at a concert?

The answer is, "Of course not." Why then do we question today, in matters of personal conduct, or to achieve any standard, if discipline is necessary? It is absolutely necessary. 

Today the philosophy is: "If it feels good, do it." I have heard parents innocently saying, "I don't care what my kids do so long as it makes them happy. That is all that matters." I ask them, "Wouldn't you want to know what makes them happy?" If beating people up on the streets and taking their things away are what make them happy, there is a word in the English language for them, it is called "perversion." How and where we derive our happiness from is just as important as the happiness itself. It is a result of our values, discipline and responsibility. We keep hearing "do what you like." The reverse is just as true. Like what you do. Many times we need to do what ought to be done whether we like it or not. 

A mother comes home after a long day's work, takes care of the household chores, looks after the baby and goes to sleep exhausted. In the middle of the night the baby cries. Does mama feel like getting up? No, but she gets up anyway. Why? For three reasons:

•  Love 
• Duty
• Responsibility 

We cannot live our lives by emotions alone. We need to add discipline, no matter what age we are. Winning in life comes when we do not succumb to what we want to do but do what ought to be done. That requires discipline.

 Labeling and Put-Downs By Parents, Teachers and Supervisors

 Have you heard some parents playfully or affectionately calling their kids "dummy" and "stupid"? Labels stick for life. When the kids grow up they will be sure to prove the parents right. Labels do not only stick for life but for generations. The caste system in India is a prime example of how labeling can hurt. Upper caste or lower caste, "If it is not a label, what is it?"

 Common put-downs parents say to their kids are:

•  You are dumb. 
• You never do anything right. 
• You will never amount to anything.

Teaching the Right Values 

Many times, inadvertently and innocently, we end up teaching wrong values within our families and organizations. For example, we tell our children or staff to lie for us.

• Tell them I am not here. 
• The check is in the mail. 

We all look to our parents, teachers and supervisors to teach us integrity. And many times we are disappointed. Practicing these petty lies turns a person into a professional liar. When we teach others to lie for us, a day will come when they will lie to us too. For example, a secretary calls in sick when she really wants to go shopping. Maybe the boss gave her enough practice lying for him that she has become an expert in lying to him.